Not an angry letter (aka, Dear FHM)

Dear FHM, and Bauer News Media,

Thank you for your apology. The fact that you have recognised the hurt and anger that your editorial slip has caused is a positive thing, and I genuinely thank you for it. Your apology, however, demonstrates that you don’t see the situation as one for which you need to take responsibility, but rather as one caused by misinterpretation on the part of the reader. This means that a lot of people have been left unsatisfied with your response. I don’t want to assume that your apology is disingenuous; by issuing it, you’ve entered into a dialogue with those you've upset, and that is good. You’ve given us an idea of your point of view of the joke, and this is helpful.

You may genuinely see it purely as a misinterpretation, and the writer of the joke may never have intended ‘victim’ to be read as ‘victim of rape/violence/murder’. Rape ‘victim’ was my initial reading of it, but I have since seen other possible readings of it, and friends have pointed out other ways that it can be read. However, this does not make the reaction of those who read it as ‘victim’ in the sense of violence any less valid nor any less distressing. You must understand that the writing you produce can be interpreted in many ways, be sensitive to this, and accept responsibility when ambiguity in your writing leads to a valid reading that you are making jokes in regards to violence against women. And I think that, as reasonable people, you can accept that that is what the joke looks like to many people.

It might also be helpful for you to understand why it looks this way to many people. Women are used to being portrayed in the media as sex objects, doting supporters of men (mothers or partners), or victims. I might sound like an old record to you, but recent research by Women in Journalism has found this to be a very pressing reality; we are either represented sexually, or as victims, or not at all. There is also another fact I’m hoping you are aware of; current austerity measures in this country mean that support for violated women has been drastically cut, meaning that women are not only frequently victims of violence, but now find it harder than ever to escape such violence. We are faced with a government telling us that our safety is not a priority. Add to that a press that makes light of offences against us, and you can see that this is quite a tense time to be a woman. So, when people see examples of someone making light of this situation, in a way that humiliates and threatens victims of violence, they are likely to react negatively and strongly.

I know you meant it in fun, not malice. I also know it wasn’t intended for me as a reader. I am not your readership. But I am on the receiving end of your readership’s attitude towards women, so the normalisation of violence against women has very real implications for me and other women. YouGov states that one in three teenage girls have reported being groped or receiving unwanted sexual contact whilst at school. One in three. And that’s only the number that have actually declared it. I’m hoping you can come to understand that sexual harassment and violence is a very real problem for women, and finding ways to lighten the issue for your male readership can only make the world a more hostile place for us.

I do understand that the joke was not intended for me. I’m not offended because I didn’t find it funny; rather, I was disturbed that violence against me was being casually joked about. Please understand that the women who are upset by this are not kill-joys, or trying to find things to be outraged about; we are worried - we are worried by the very real threat of violence, and the potential increase in that threat if mainstream publications normalise violent behaviour.    

I realise you did not mean to cause offence, but unfortunately you have unwittingly caused offence. The fact that you have responded with an apology is appreciated and I genuinely applaud you for engaging positively with your critics. But do not be surprised if your deflection of responsibility is not enough for many people. Please continue to listen to your critics, try to understand their fears, and respond appropriately and sensitively, and, finally, please take responsibility for the upset that your editorial slip has caused. You will only be respected for it.

We, the undersigned, agree with and support this letter.

Sacha Scott, Stuart Wigby, Ché Bee, Matt Bradshaw, Robbie Pickles

from Wadham Feminists
Phillippa Hibbs, AliceThomas, Hannah Dart, Amy Muckersie, Adrienne Joy, Lloyd Houston, Rosa Bennathan, Rhiannon Kelly, Yara Rodrigues Fowler, Sarah Poulten, Alexander Beecham, Anya Metzer, Eleanor Connor

from No More Page 3
Lucy-Ann Holmes, Jess Rhodes, Katie Pollard, Rachel Holland, Sam Naylor, Jen Hicks Taylor, Emma Tofi, Mel Prideaux, Fran Kilshaw, Lauren O’Sullivan, Sylvie Martlew, Alice McCallum, Mel James, Hannah Curtis, Marie Paludan, Grace Kavanagh, Bronwen Kate Fogg, Malcolm Fogg, Em Ze, Gill Rimmer, Cloudi Bluebell Lewis, Emily Beeson, Laur Evans, Katherine Armstrong, Keris Stainton, Claire Wade, Sadie Rees Hales, Eilidh Brown, Ceris Aston, Sara Guthrie, Kate Elizabeth Talbot, Rebecca Lehman, Clare Davidson, Abigail Rutherford, Sarah Jones, Nicole Stanfield-Caile, Claire Jones, Lizzie Houghton, Charlotte Fowles, Ruth Graham, Anna Bowen, Irene Walker, Jen Conway, Georgie Agass, Sam Chapman, Em Brewin, Rachel Graham, Sarah Gimigliano, Christopher Flux, Jayne Drury, Kathy Coutanche, Lame Magaga, Lara Scott, Rachel Dawson, Simon Bell, Grainne Purkiss, Sarah Pitt, Angela Gavin Towers, Louise Bromby, Tom Janes, June Stamper, Jessica Grace Moule, Shain Wells, Sophie Cole-Hamilton, Cliodhna Tyan, Emily Gray, Ashley Parke, Lauren Bravo, Hannah West, Amy Greenwell, Claire Postles, Charlotte Satchell, Angela Haynes, Cath Campbell, Louise Futcher, Lucy Alton, Holly MacDonald, Penni B rown, Lou Stirna, Alexandra Bateman, Ruth Tucknott, Joanna Chick, Jenna Sutherland, Sarah Cooper, Lizzie Blowey, Lindsey Withey, Claire Scott, Pippa Banham, Linda Theaker, Sue Jones, Lloyd Mills, Anna Tippett, Danni Smith, Claire Alexander, Ellen McGirr, Katy Chadwick, Alice Pember, Claire Butler, Rebecca Lax, Liz Chadwick, Jonathan J Williams, Rebecca Myers, Alison Davis-Kurley, Annelise O’Brien, Amy Kirkham, James French, Sam KayeSarah Faulkner, Emily Thompson, Kate Paice, Xenia Davis, Kirsty Hughes, Rebecca Milborne, Fiona Conway, Amy-Elizabeth Jones, Karolina Fung-On, Allison McCulloch, Charlotte McEvoy, Jessica Flowerdew, Ann Ruthven, Samantha Mackley, Jessamy Reynolds, Rebecca Linsdell, Maria Lehy, Hail Thompson, Sadie Price, Caroline Courtney, Rohanna Law, Elizabeth Ings, Sandy Alexander, Cathy Evans, Rowen West-Henzell, Sarah K. 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