Some thoughts on reading letters

I’ve started writing letters. And sending them. Otherwise it’d be a bit pointless. At first, it was a slightly novel, kitsch way of getting back in touch with old friends and family, or of demonstrating to friends that I talk to on facebook everyday anyway, that I think they’re wonderful, so will express this by handwrittenly rambling at them for a page or two. It was a ‘project’, as well, and I do love a ‘project’ (especially when it comes complete with a spreadsheet, in this case detailing who I’m going to write to, their addresses, when I’m going to write etc). So far, it’s been wonderful, eye-opening and, (at the risk of sounding like a complete dick) a very effective way of reigniting my excitement for writing. However, I don’t really want to talk about writing letters right now; I haven’t done anywhere near enough of that year. But, before I started writing, I read a lot of letters, and here are just a few thoughts on why reading letters is a great thing, and you should probably go try it.

It all started with Letters of Note. It’s a website that publishes significant and deeply interesting correspondence; some between famous people, world leaders, writers, astronauts, scientists; and some not written by public figures, but the contents of which are so interesting that they’re worth a wider readership. Some of my favourites are from freed slaves, writing in response to their ex-’owners’ requests that they return to be slaves again. Personally, I can’t imagine responding to such a request with anything except ‘?!’ carved into a brick and thrown through a window, but the letters that these newly-freed men and women composed are so full of strength and wit that I usually find myself fighting the urge to punch the air when reading them. (I usually read these letters in public spaces and that would probably attract strange looks).

Reading letters is fascinating. Initially, it struck me as incredible, that something once so everyday and practical could simultaneously be such moving and insightful writing. However, now that I’ve had more time to think about it, it makes perfect sense that letters should be this way; they are a form of writing that offers the writer more freedom and more intimacy with their reader than almost all other forms of writing.

It’s rare that we get to read something that wasn’t initially intended to be seen by a wide readership; newspaper articles, blogs, tweets, facebook posts, poems, novels; all these, though they may be directed at one person or one specific group of people, all carry the acknowledgment that other people are able and invited to read. There are theories that it’s the feeling of voyeurism that makes the act of reading things not intended for us so thrilling, but I don’t think this is what I found when reading letters. Instead, it was the experience of reading a wholly different kind of writing; one that can be specific and frank, one that can be deeply personal, and one that can sit and muse beautifully on the minutiae, if that happens to be the relationship that the writer has with their specific reader. The purpose of the writing also makes letters fascinating reading. The purposes of letters obviously vary wildly, but, usually, they aren’t written to widen a readership, or to impress or even to be particularly literary. They therefore seem to be much more honest. Sometimes painfully so.

When I was in school, I didn’t really understand why we were taught to write letters. It seemed archaic and irrelevant. My logic was, all forms of communication are just forms of communication, and why would I write a letter if I could put it into an email, or explain it on the phone? It didn’t occur to me that every form of communication is necessarily different from another; that our words impart a different nuance depending on the medium we chose to communicate it. We can send the exact same words over a number of different mediums, but the implications of each message would vary as they find themselves coloured by the context, etiquette and practicalities of different mediums (for example, you can’t communicate a narrative down the phone in the same way you can in a letter, because sooner or later someone’s going to interrupt you). This may be eye-wateringly obvious to everyone else, but it has only really become clear to me recently; that letters aren’t a replacement for other mediums, just as other forms of communication aren’t replacements for letters.

Now let me just write a few. Maybe I’ll have a few near-coherent thoughts on that too.

Not an angry letter (aka, Dear FHM)

Dear FHM, and Bauer News Media,

Thank you for your apology. The fact that you have recognised the hurt and anger that your editorial slip has caused is a positive thing, and I genuinely thank you for it. Your apology, however, demonstrates that you don’t see the situation as one for which you need to take responsibility, but rather as one caused by misinterpretation on the part of the reader. This means that a lot of people have been left unsatisfied with your response. I don’t want to assume that your apology is disingenuous; by issuing it, you’ve entered into a dialogue with those you've upset, and that is good. You’ve given us an idea of your point of view of the joke, and this is helpful.

You may genuinely see it purely as a misinterpretation, and the writer of the joke may never have intended ‘victim’ to be read as ‘victim of rape/violence/murder’. Rape ‘victim’ was my initial reading of it, but I have since seen other possible readings of it, and friends have pointed out other ways that it can be read. However, this does not make the reaction of those who read it as ‘victim’ in the sense of violence any less valid nor any less distressing. You must understand that the writing you produce can be interpreted in many ways, be sensitive to this, and accept responsibility when ambiguity in your writing leads to a valid reading that you are making jokes in regards to violence against women. And I think that, as reasonable people, you can accept that that is what the joke looks like to many people.

It might also be helpful for you to understand why it looks this way to many people. Women are used to being portrayed in the media as sex objects, doting supporters of men (mothers or partners), or victims. I might sound like an old record to you, but recent research by Women in Journalism has found this to be a very pressing reality; we are either represented sexually, or as victims, or not at all. There is also another fact I’m hoping you are aware of; current austerity measures in this country mean that support for violated women has been drastically cut, meaning that women are not only frequently victims of violence, but now find it harder than ever to escape such violence. We are faced with a government telling us that our safety is not a priority. Add to that a press that makes light of offences against us, and you can see that this is quite a tense time to be a woman. So, when people see examples of someone making light of this situation, in a way that humiliates and threatens victims of violence, they are likely to react negatively and strongly.

I know you meant it in fun, not malice. I also know it wasn’t intended for me as a reader. I am not your readership. But I am on the receiving end of your readership’s attitude towards women, so the normalisation of violence against women has very real implications for me and other women. YouGov states that one in three teenage girls have reported being groped or receiving unwanted sexual contact whilst at school. One in three. And that’s only the number that have actually declared it. I’m hoping you can come to understand that sexual harassment and violence is a very real problem for women, and finding ways to lighten the issue for your male readership can only make the world a more hostile place for us.

I do understand that the joke was not intended for me. I’m not offended because I didn’t find it funny; rather, I was disturbed that violence against me was being casually joked about. Please understand that the women who are upset by this are not kill-joys, or trying to find things to be outraged about; we are worried - we are worried by the very real threat of violence, and the potential increase in that threat if mainstream publications normalise violent behaviour.    

I realise you did not mean to cause offence, but unfortunately you have unwittingly caused offence. The fact that you have responded with an apology is appreciated and I genuinely applaud you for engaging positively with your critics. But do not be surprised if your deflection of responsibility is not enough for many people. Please continue to listen to your critics, try to understand their fears, and respond appropriately and sensitively, and, finally, please take responsibility for the upset that your editorial slip has caused. You will only be respected for it.

We, the undersigned, agree with and support this letter.

Sacha Scott, Stuart Wigby, Ché Bee, Matt Bradshaw, Robbie Pickles

from Wadham Feminists
Phillippa Hibbs, AliceThomas, Hannah Dart, Amy Muckersie, Adrienne Joy, Lloyd Houston, Rosa Bennathan, Rhiannon Kelly, Yara Rodrigues Fowler, Sarah Poulten, Alexander Beecham, Anya Metzer, Eleanor Connor

from No More Page 3
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